You snooze you lose...

I’m going to blame it on that darn snooze button…  It gets me every time.  I will seriously snooze for an hour or two, before finally getting up!  I usually don’t roll out of bed, until I hear my husband moving around and making noises, suggesting that I've snoozed long enough.   By this time, I’m late wherever it is that I need to be.  And as usual I jump out of bed in a panic and start rushing around the house, fussing at anyone that gets in my way, trying to get out the door.  All because of the snooze button.  I need an alarm that doesn’t have one.  I’m not a morning person people, I love my sleep. 

The past two mornings we have gotten some rain, thankyousoverymuch, but for whatever reason some people feel that when it rains, more like sprinkles they need to drive 20 mph in a 45 mph zone.  REALLY!!!  And I always end up behind these said people...  The roads aren't wet, it is barely raining, and they feel the need to slow everyone else down by driving 25 mph under the speed limit.  Yes, this can make me (and I'm sure all the other people that are running late), really somewhat grumpy!  Of course once I passed this person, I see she is talking on the phone.  Again, REALLY and me wanting to slap the phone out of her hand!  I’m all about being cautious, but this driver took it to the extreme, but yet it was okay to talk on the phone.  Gun it hun, and get off the darn phone!  Most people that have to be at work by a certain time, are usually in hurry, they aren’t usually taking their sweet a double s time. 

I feel like today is a Monday for me, and I’m not a fan of Mondays so I don’t like when I have two of them in a row…

Moving on to our weekend recap, it was a very busy weekend, but it was great being surrounded by family! We had a birthday party at the crack of dawn on Saturday morning for my niece that is now FIVE. How did that happen!?!

Then we enjoyed some time with Papa, BeeBee and Dar.  The kiddos played and I passed out, seriously!  It was a very nice nap.

Sunday we spent the morning with Nana.  The kiddos look forward to seeing Nana on Sundays.   After leaving Nana, we had our Sunday lunch with Papa, BeeBee and Dar.  Having lunch or dinner out anywhere with two little ones is always a good time.  The little girl loves to people watch, and holler at them.  I sure hope no one gets offended.  And my sweet little man can’t be still.   I love messing up someone else’s kitchen, but I’m also really happy when we leave!

I also got to do a little shopping yesterday… And I’m afraid

 we are going to be in trouble with this little one…

Yes sweet pea, mama shopped until she dropped…

Or more like, until the money ran dry…

I love me some retail therapy!

Happy Tuesday, and cheers to it almost being over!

xoxo, Shanna

happy birthday to me, i guess...

as i would have LOVED to been able to stay in bed all day and hide under a pillow, i can’t… so happy birthday to me! the best part of the day, was having my baby boy tell me happy birthday! sweet boy, you totally made your mama's day!

cheers to a fabulous day, and me being another year older!

xoxo, Shanna

Name & date of birth please...

Every Monday for the past month or so I have been going in for treatments.  And every nurse, doctor, and technician always ask the same question before they do anything.  Can you please state your first & last name and date of birth?  While this is a simple question, I have had the hardest time answering it correctly, on more than one occasion.  Last week I told the nurse my name was Shanna August, and then today I told the same nurse my name was August Constantine.  Yes, she found it quite amusing.  But, I was more than embarrassed.  I’m seriously losing my mind.  Stuff like this is happening more often than not, and I can’t blame it on pregnancy brain anymore, or old age.

You look back and laugh, but when you start counting how many times this has happened, it can become a little sad.  I’ve even started calling my son his sister’s name, and her bubba’s name.  I didn’t think this would start happening until I was well into my 50's or 60’s…  So much for thinking that.


Do you ever have moments like this?  Please tell me I'm not alone!  I know I'm different, a little off, or some say I beat to a different drum, whatever you want to call it, there has to be others like me.  We can comfort each other, and show support for one another or for just me...

At work now, I’m having to read over and over and over emails before I send them, and you wouldn’t believe how many changes I have to make before I send an email sometimes.  If my mind is on anything else, somehow those words or thoughts end up in my email, and if I ever pressed sent before proofing, I would have one really confused customer and probably a lot of explaining to do.  Sometimes, I just sit at my desk and shake my head and wonder how in the world I just came up with the email that is staring me in the face.  I’m usually a very wordy person when it comes to emails, but lately the shorter the better for me.

Yes baby girl, you might need to say a little pray for your mama...

My little munchkins started the first day of MDO.  The husband came home and said “do you hear that”?  The only thing I heard was me typing on the laptop so I responded with a, no what?  He was like pure silence!  He was right, and it was very nice to have a morning without all the chaos that we have every day.  It was also kinda nice having the husband and me both at the table working this morning. Ahh, we should do it again! 

I’m calling it an early night I believe; I have to be up at the crack of dawn to see my oral surgeon in the morning.  If I’m not seeing one doctor, I’m seeing another.  I told my husband not to be jealous of my busy schedule. 

Goodnight sweet angels!

xoxo, Shanna

A thankful Sunday...

Today we woke up early, so we could spend the morning with Nana.  It was a nice morning, we got her room mostly decorated, and it is starting to look and feel more like home, or so I hope.  The kiddos had fun trying to help, and the little girl was all about being adored by everyone, and trying to climb on everything.

You never outgrow Nana!

This little one, is climbing on any & everything!

Here are few things that I’m so thankful for today:

•       The obvious, my husband and kiddos!
•       Our family & friends can’t live life without them!
•       Having today, and being able to spend another wonderful day with my Nana & Papa!  It was good seeing BeeBee & Dar too, that goes without saying! 
•       That my Nana is doing so well!
•       Getting some good snuggle time in with the little man last night!  We both needed some mommy son time.
•       That my BAD mood finally did pass!
•       The chocolate chip ice cream dessert we had today, it was AWESOME!
•       Taking an afternoon nap with both kiddos and husband!
•       That my daughter didn’t cry going or coming today in the car, thank you big time baby girl for that!
•       For the good night’s sleep I’m going to get!  Thank you trazodone.
•       And for being blessed with this day!

***She also LOVES to dance!

I go in tomorrow for another treatment, and I have to start fasting (again) in the morning.  One would think between fasting every Monday, and having my wisdom teeth pulled last week, I would start losing weight, but I haven't shed one pound!  And I need to shed about 20!

What are you thankful for?

Cheers to a great day and weekend!

Goodnight sweet angels!

xoxo, Shanna

Oh how I have missed thee...

Yes, oh how I have missed thee…  Since having two little ones, finding time to spoil oneself has become really hard.  The Aunt & Uncle, who are always too good to me, offered to watch the kiddos while I had a day to pamper myself.   But at first, she wanted me to take my little diva with me.  I think my little diva and I will have plenty of mother daughter days, and I am looking forward to when that does happen, but I don't want to rush anything!   So today was about me, and only me! 

Sweet girl, mama truly is looking forward to our outings together. 

It’s funny when you go to the salon, you can tell who the mothers are from the woman with no children.  The mothers are all halfway passed out in their chair, just trying to enjoy and savor every last minute they have to themselves.  While the not yet mothers, or single young girls are all talking about what their plans are, this and that, blah blah blah.  And the mothers just want them to kindly shut up, because they are interfering with ones say cat nap and quiet time… I guess they didn't notice that more than half the of salon was pretty much passed out.  I did enjoy my little cat nap; I always fall asleep when I get my nails and toes done.  But it was just funny watching the other mama's, and having an unspoken bond.

But my time to myself was short lived; I did have to return home.  I didn’t even get in the door good before reality set in…

Sweet girl, I love watching you dance around the house!

Mama loves catching these moments, of you two together!

My sweet baby boy, you're growing up too fast!

I did enjoy my time to myself, but I was glad to get home to all the happenings at our house!

We are calling it a day at our house.  Cheers to a great day!  Nighty night!

Goodnight sweet angels!

xoxo, Shanna

goodnight...

goodnight, sweetheart, well it’s time to go…

goodnight, sweetheart, well it’s time to go…

I hate to leave you, but I really must say…

Oh goodnight, sweetheart, goodnight(:

Sweet dreams my sweet angel!

xoxo, Shanna

It's a good life...

The other night I had a dream that keep repeating itself, but each time it revealed another layer.  I don’t remember all the details but what I do remember is, at the end the person looking at me, and asking how my life was... I remember smiling and looking at my husband & children and saying “It’s a good life”!  And I haven’t been able to get that out of my head. 

And it is a good life!  I do have a wonderful husband, when he isn't driving me crazy, being honest here it does happen!  I have two babies that I adore, and couldn’t or wouldn’t want to imagine our life without them.  I’ve been in a MAJOR funk lately.  But it isn’t the end of the world, and I need to get out of this funk, in a quick way!  Because I do have a husband that loves me, and two babies that adore their mama. 

Sometimes you need that reminder of how good you do have it.  It’s easy to let the negativity take over, and then start feeling sorry for yourself.  That isn’t how I want to live, nor do I want my family to live with a wife or mama that is constantly feeling sorry or wanting someone to feel sorry for her.  Nor do I want them listening to me complain and nag at them 24/7!  Don't know about you, but that isn't the kinda person I want to be around!?! So I'm kinda sick of myself to be truthful at the moment!


Hi sweetie, I sure do love you handsome!

Thank you honey for loving me, and loving all of me!  Thank you for being patient with me, and letting me feel sorry for myself, along with driving everyone in this house insane!  Just know, I am driving myself insane, so you aren't alone. I justed wanted you to know that we are in this together too.  Thank you for letting me get the rest I needed yesterday when I felt so bad and was sick!  And thank you for fixing dinner, doing the laundry, keeping the house clean and taking care of our children!  Wow, it sounds like I do nothing!  Did you marry a LOSER!?!  For the record, I do work a full time job, that makes me feel some better!  But lately the husband really has been picking up my slack, and thank you for that!  Thank you for being patient with all the treatments I have had lately, and all the down time that has been required!  It is going to get better, or so I hope!  I truly do love you, and I'm so grateful that you're the one on this journey with me!

Thank you sweet babies of mine for loving me each and every day, and knowing how to put a smile on my face!  Thank you for being so darn adorable in everything you do.  Thank you for teaching me what life is all about!  Thank you for trying to teach me not to sweat the small stuff, you know like someone marking on your walls, couch, pillows and clothes...  I wouldn't get upset over that!  I'm so thankful and grateful to be called your mother!  Mama is trying to learn to be patient.  I know sometimes mama isn't the easiest to be around, but thank you for being patient with mama.  I guess one might would say we are growing and learning at this point in our lives together.

I'm not perfect, and never claimed to be, but I always put my family first, and I love you guys (husband & babies) so much!  And I'm glad we are on this journey together!

Cheers to the good life! 

Happy Friday Saturday!

xoxo, Shanna

No bueno for me...

One of my favorite parts of the day has always been our bedtime routine.  Getting to take my daughter into the bedroom, and have quiet time, just the two of us, a perfect end to the day.  It’s dark, quiet and peaceful in the bedroom where I would feed, rock and sing to her.  And there would be times, mama would fall asleep too, and the husband would end up putting her to bed, because mama would get so relaxed she would pass smooth out. 

But then came the day the doctor, who I don't like very well at this moment, told me we needed to start putting her to bed awake, and letting her learn to put herself to sleep, blah blah blah... You know the drill, the part that stinks, no bueno for me.  Which it took a couple weeks, but she finally started putting herself to sleep.  Yay, but don't get too excited...

Until the other night…   
She started the whole crying and screaming for 45 minutes to an hour, not letting up at all, all over again.  Me going into her bedroom to reassure her that I’m here and rubbing her back, for me just to walk out and her start up all over again with the crying and screaming.  This is one of the worst feelings I have ever felt, I want to cry with her.  I can’t STAND to see or hear my babies cry, AT ALL!  It breaks my heart.  And my poor baby boy gets upset because he doesn’t understand what is wrong, and why his sissy is crying.  Which that causes me to fall apart!

I believe this has been the hardest part of parenting for me; and it use to be my favorite.  It’s more heartbreaking at this point then hard.  I feel like I am abandoning my daughter, as she is calling out for her mama, with no response back in a dark room.  I mean that is scary I’m sure for a little one.  I hope this passes soon, because I don’t think I can handle much more of this.  If it does continue, my husband is going to have two crying and screaming babies on his hands that he will be dealing with...

Sweet girl, mama loves you!  If I could hold you in my arms all night I sure would, but I do understand that you do need to know how to put yourself to sleep.  Please don't ever hold this against me!  You are and always will be my sweet beautiful precious angel! 

Goodnight sweet angels!

xoxo, Shanna



The new obsession...

My little boy has a new obsession…

Not only do we have the trains, the books, the puzzles, the train tracks…

We also have the Thomas the Train jammies and T-Shirts that he pretty much wants to wear all the time, even if they're dirty.  One could say, Thomas has taken over our house. 

Putting puzzles together, no problem.  He no longer needs our help, but he does want us right by his side, to praise him with a big ole good job, or maybe a hi-five.  And of course, when we aren't doing the first few things I have listed, then we are watching Thomas on TV or DVD or on Youtube...  We aren't ever away from Thomas, we are connected to him, someway or somehow at all times!  So as parents we roll with the obsessions.  We have gone through George, Toy Story, Mickey & Minnie, Cars and now Thomas.  I wonder who is next!?! 

This cute little girl has gone back to her old ways.  The past few nights, she has been crying and screaming in her crib for over 45 minutes.  First of all, it is torture having to listen to your child cry and scream.  Second, I don’t want her to feel like we have just abandoned her.   I don’t understand why all the sudden we are having these problems again.

She was sharing her dinner with bubba tonight...

My sweet angels!

My mouth feels like I was in the boxing ring with someone.  I’m still pretty swollen on the right side, but I did enjoy me a large Dr. Pepper today…

Happy Tuesday, cheers to a fabulous week, or not!

Goodnight sweet angels!

xoxo, Shanna



What a great conversation, we should do it again sometime...

Finally, I have some quiet time…  The little man is watching George, and the little girl that has been whining all morning is down for her nap.  Please little girl, take a good 3-4 hour nap!  Poor little girl got a busted lip this morning, we can thank bubba for that!

With me being out of it the past two days, I didn’t notice that my son took a pencil to the wall, and decided to have art time.  How thoughtful of him!  Really sweet baby boy, you shouldn’t have! 

And our conversation went a little something like this:

Me:  M did you draw on mama’s wall? 

M: Yep!

Me: Why did you do that?

M: Why!

Me: Yes, Why and don’t repeat the words back to me, I know what I’m saying.  So why did you mark on the wall?

M: Why!

Me: I’m done, don’t do it again, okay!

M: I done!

Awesome! 

Then as I was trying to fix breakfast, I noticed someone put a puzzle piece in the toaster oven.  I mean, that does seem like a great place.  So, I decided to indulge myself in another conversation with the little man.  You know, because the first one went so well!

Me: M did you put this puzzle piece in the toaster oven?

M: Yes…

Me: Why?

M: Why…

I just let it be...  Great conversation little man, we should do it again sometime.

The sun is shining bright, cheers to a fabulous day.  Tomorrow is going to be a long day, I have to fast again starting tomorrow morning.  I’m counting the days, until I can have me a cold DP.  I will be going to Sonic come Tuesday morning, and getting me a large Dr. Pepper.  And I might go back at lunch and get another one, just sayin.  

Anywho, Happy Sunday!

xoxo, Shanna

I'm a chicken...

I'm just going to be honest here, I'm a chicken, I'm a baby, I can't stand pain, blood or needles, and I have a low tolerance to pain.  I tense up just thinking about it.  So the other night when I chipped my tooth, I knew that the doctor was going to want to remove the tooth as soon as possible, since it was my wisdoom tooth...  Yes, I realize I’m 31 (getting ready to be 32) and as of Thursday I had all 32 teeth.  But yesterday morning, I had to have all 4 removed, and it sucked.  Now I remember why when I was in High School, I avoided having it done the first time they told me it needed to be done, and then when I was 25 and was told it needed to be done I avoided the situation again.  I can't stand having my mouth messed with, mouth pain is the worst, I'm a chicken what can I say. I'm known for pushing or avoiding situations until it has to be done, and at that point, I usually end up causing myself more pain.  But who just volunteers for something they know is going to cause pain!?!  But this time I wasn't able to talk my way out of it. 

As I was in the recovery room, they kindly told me I couldn’t have any Dr. Pepper for FIVE days…  Did you read that, FIVE days!  It's killing me, I can't go without my DP.  And to be honest, I did have a sip or two this morning.  If they would have told me this up front, I might would have walked out of the surgical room.  Not to mention, I had to miss a lunch/shopping date with a dear friend that I have wanted to see for over a year now.  And another vacation day has been wasted, that is related to pain.  It's pretty sad when you get four weeks of vacation, and most of it is spent seeing doctors and having procedures done.  And again, I'm 31 pushing the 32 mark.  But I feel as if I'm 85 going on 86!

The husband thought it would be funny to snap photos of me walking in the door after having the surgery yesterday… Not exactly the best time to be taking a photo, if you ask me.  He told me it was all about the memories...  Yeah right!

And to top it off, my husband came home with a Philly Steak Sandwich last night, and all I have been able to think about is that darn sandwich… I’m very tempted to go get me one, even though I know it will probably kill me.

The 3^rd moralers are a total waste!  And I was probably saying a few choice words, as my husband continued trying to take pictures.

At least the kiddos are having fun with BeeBee and Dar, and I'm thankful for the weekend help, again.  At the rate I'm going, they should just move in.  At least I get a two day break, before I go in on Monday for another nerve block in my back.  What a fun weekend!

I keep saying things will start to get better, maybe we are finally at the end of this rough road, not really, but maybe this is the end of the surgical procedures.  Again, how old am I!?!

I did get to enjoy some snuggle time with my Chlo-Bear this morning, as we finally got some much needed rain.  It was very relaxing, and that is something I did need!  Then shortly after that reality kicked in with two screaming kiddos, and a screaming mama.  I'm sure at that point, my Aunt was ready to packup and go.  She knows I'm not a good patient.

Happy Saturday!

xoxo, Shanna