What's to come...

Sweet little girl of mine, she’s going to let it shine…  Sweet baby girl had her one year check-up today, and she weights a whole 19lbs and is 28.50” long!  The doctor told the husband the little girl’s weight has fallen off a little.  I don’t see how that is possible, she eats non-stop, or so it seems.  And don’t tell the husband, but we have been eating cupcakes everyday since the party, so that should have helped her some.  The girl is just like her mama when it comes to sweets.  I’m ready for the cupcakes to be gone, we have two left, and I bet by tomorrow morning, the little girl and I will have finished them off.  Who said a cupcake or two for breakfast wasn’t healthy!?!  Not me that’s for sure!

 

I felt so bad that I missed this appointment, I always try to make the good-well check-up appointments.  I get excited to see how much they have grown since the last visit, and the fun things that we get to look forward too, over the next few months.  But today, I had to keep the appointment I had for myself.  My poor Aunt & Uncle, they have been taking me to all my doctor appointments since after my surgery.  And the doctor appointments seem to keep getting longer and longer.  They were at my house today a little before noon, and we didn’t get back home this evening until after 6:00.  It was a very long afternoon, and very stressful.  I wish I knew what my future held for me, but then I don’t.  I don’t want to think about everything that is getting ready to happen, but yet I do.  It has now been confirmed by four doctors that I do have RSD, and now Fibromyalgia.  I had a lot of blood work done today, along with a lot of x-rays.  I’m being tested for Lupus, Ankylosing Spondylitis, and Rheumatoid Arthritis.  She knows I have something, but these three have a lot of the same symptoms, so we are going to have to leave it up to the blood work, and x-rays to determine which one I do have, so we can begin the treatment.  From the x-ray that was done before my surgery, I was told I had Lupus, that is what lead me to today's appointment.  She told me today that I had a long road ahead of me, that there wasn’t going to be a quick fix.  But the reality of it is, I will be dealing with this the rest of my life.  I just want to scream and cry, and throw myself to the floor like my daughter.  But I don’t think it will work for me, like it does her.  When I pick myself up, I’m going to still be faced with the same problems.

 

Yes, I'm talking about you!  

I’m trying to not let this take over my life, but this is all I have been able to think about.  Last week I was so busy getting every thing in place for my sweet baby girl’s party, I didn’t have time to be bothered with the reality of my life.  But the party is over, and I’m left with all of this to deal with.  I’ve had two major appointments back to back, and I haven’t had time to process everything from yesterday’s appointment, to get hit with another load today.

I know in the end everything is going to be okay…  As I noted a few weeks ago, I need to let the doctors do their jobs.  It’s just hard, but I’m sure as time goes on, I will find a way to deal with all of this.  I’m just a little (A LOT) scared!  As I’m sure anyone would be.  I feel like I keep getting hit by a semi, each time I visit the doctor’s office.

The kiddos are in bed, the husband is playing on the iPad, and I’m getting ready to try and get some sleep myself.  I’m hoping come tomorrow, I will be in a better place.

Goodnight sweet angels!

 

xoxo, Shanna