What happened to February...

Time just seems to be passing by, before I know it.  I can’t believe we are at the end of February.

Life has definitely been hard the last few weeks.  I know it will get better, but right now, it is really stressing me out.   I could use a nice Spa day, oh how I mess those days.  I could also use a goodnights sleep.  But I will keep on hoping, and see what happens.  You can wish and one hand, and sh!t in the other and see which gets filled first!

Thankfully, I’m finally feeling better.  I just wish I had some energy.  There I go again with the wishing…

The kiddos have been busy being kids, and driving me a little crazy, I didn’t say that!  Ash is just very demanding, and wants to be held all the time.  I don’t remember the little man being so demanding; he has always been so easy going.  I’m not complaining, I’m just putting it out there, that she can make one wish that bed time was at 7:00am, if you know what I mean.  The clothes I got her from the Gap came in last night, and I can’t wait to play dress up.  That might be on the schedule for tomorrow.

 

I finally treated myself to some TOMS yesterday, and let me just say, I LOVE THEM!  They are so comfortable.  I think I might go buy another pair.  Every now and then, I feel I need to treat myself to something I want.  But I will need to stop, over the last week I have spent more money than I have in probably the past two months.  So, I need to go back on a spending freeze…  But, I do need to buy a dress for a wedding that we have next week, after that, I’m done.

I’m still losing a pound here and there, I wish more than a pound here and there, but I will take what I can get.  I’m just glad I’m losing some weight.  The only thing that sucks, is I’m not getting to enjoy the food I love.  Which I’m sure my husband is glad that I’m not going out to lunch every day, but I do miss it.  It was my escape…  Now I eat at my desk and end up working through lunch. 

Sorry for the boring post…  Cheers to it being Friday.  I’m ready for the weekend, and not having to wake-up to an alarm.  I just wish (I know, another I wish…  I have a lot of them), I could get the little man to sleep in until 8:00 or later.  One can hope!

xoxo, Shanna

We are complete...

Hello sunshine, nice to see ya after a dark and rainy cold day!  My poor babies wanted to play outside so bad yesterday, as bubba kept telling me, “mama ride bike”.  I have a pond outside my window from all the rain we got, so the only thing he would have been able to do was take a mud bath, or go mudding, but I think he is still to young to know what mudding is...

On Valentine’s Day, the husband got the kiddos on the front porch and decided to have a mini photo shoot.  I just can’t believe how grown up my babies look in these pictures.

How precious does this sweet angel of mine look!?!  So sweet and innocent!  You wouldn’t ever think that she would hit, or knock the crap out of you, or bite you so hard it draws blood…  No you wouldn’t ever think it.

Over the last few weeks, I think my body has been mourning the fact that I won’t ever be able to have another baby.  If it was up to me, I would probably be pregnant right now, but due to me having high risk pregnancies, and my other health problems, it is best for me and our family if we don’t go down that road.  Our family is complete, and I know that.  But it still doesn’t change the fact, that I want another precious little one.  My hormones have been all over the place, for about two weeks, I have been dreaming about giving birth to both of my babies, the same dream over and over.  And it felt so real.  If it weren’t for my IUD, I would have probably questioned if I was indeed pregnant.

We had a girls day yesterday, my Aunt and I took the little diva of mine shopping and got her a lot of new clothes (not to mention the night before I bought her several new outfits from the Gap).  Let’s see how long it takes her to ruin these.  She is so rough on her clothes.

I’ve been so fatigued lately, I feel like I could sleep for the next two days.  Today is the first day in over a week, that I finally feel like I'm over being sick, thankyousoverymuch! We have birthday party to go to today, my nephew is going to be SIX this week.  I can't believe it.  Remembering back when he was a baby, and holding him.  It just doesn't seem possible, that he is now a kid.  

See ya later gator!

xoxo, Shanna

A little stressed...

I want to scream, I want to cry, I want to hide under my covers and not have to face reality!  Ya know what I mean?  The last six weeks, have been very overwhelming.  I feel like I keep getting one hard ball after another.  I would like to have a moment where I’m not stressing, over everything, and could have a moment of peace.  Every time I think I get that moment of peace, something happens, and my anxiety kicks in.  I’ve been very moody and distant lately...  With my mind going nonstop with all the “what if’s”! The kiddos have been sick pretty much every week since the beginning of January, and it has now caught up with me.  And of course when it hits me, it hits hard.

Not all of the last six weeks have been bad…  The kiddos when they haven’t been running a fever, coughing, and blowing their noses, have been playing hard with trains (of course), the iPad, linclon logs, dolls, legos, blocks, more trains, going on walks and getting to play with friends at the mall.  School has also kept them pretty busy.

The little man even got a new tricycle that he has enjoyed
getting to ride when he, sissy and daddy go on their daily walks around the neighborhood.

This little one, if she ain’t happy, no one is happy!  True story…  She has gotten really good at expressing herself, and letting you know when something isn’t going her way.  As adorable as she is, and trust me baby girl, mama thinks you are the cutest most adorable baby girl in the world, but you are a true handful, and as bubba say “Ash a mess”!

She sure is! 

With me being sick, I have lost a little over six pounds in two days!  I’m not excited about the being sick part, but I’m over the moon happy about the six pounds!  I had an IUD put in after I had Ash, and I seriously think it has kept me from losing weight from my last pregnancy, and not to mention, I just keep gaining weight.  After I had the little man, I had lost all the baby weight within 2-3 months and was back in my pre-pregnancy clothes.  This time around, I haven’t been able to fit back into most of my pre-pregnancy clothes.  And it really has affected my mood!  I have also turned to food, to deal with my stress over the past few months.  I feel like I have let myself go, and right now I’m so miserable with the way I look.  So, I’m happy with the six pounds, and hope I can continue to lose a few more pounds, I would be really happy with losing 20 more pounds.  I don’t expect to have the same body that I had in my 20’s, but I do want to look and feel better than I do now.  Sorry, I didn’t mean to get on this bandwagon, but it weighs on my mind every day, and every time I look in the mirror.

We do have a birthday party that we will be attending later this afternoon.  We are looking forward to spending the afternoon with good friends.

Happy Saturday!  Hope your staying warm wherever you are, it is actually really chilling here in Texas today!

xoxo, Shanna