When will it ever end...

Sometimes I feel that I’m lost.  I have never felt this way, until recently.  I’m having a hard time finding myself.  I would love to smile and laugh again.  I would love to find my sense of humor.  But at this time, I seem to be feeling sorry for myself more than anything.  The doctor told me the other day, that is total normal, but I don’t agree.  This isn’t normal; no one should have to feel this way.  And with my luck, things keep getting better and better.  It turns out, I have two fractures, a swollen tendon, a tore cartilage, a bruised heel bone, and the list truly goes on.  I’m now out for at least six weeks, if not longer.

After talking to several doctors on Monday, I guess I’m going to move forward with the spinal cord stimulator.  As freaked out about it as I am, I guess this is the best route for me. 
If it does help with some of the pain, that would put me in a better situation that I’m currently in, right.

I just truly want a break, and it just doesn’t seem to be happening.  I just seem to keep causing more pain to myself.  I’m an accident constantly waiting to happen.

The kiddos do enjoy having me home, and that is great, as I enjoy being home with them too.  As will as my ChloBear, she enjoys having mama home too so that we can take naps together.  But it’s always hard, when I do return back to work.

Right now, I need to find some shows that can keep me occupied during this time.  Anyone have any good suggests?  I’m up for anything.

The kiddos have been full of energy, and have been going nonstop.  They have been keeping me pretty busy.  And of course me being locked in this house my OCD has kicked in full force, so I feel sorry for everyone in this house.  This always happens; I can’t stand for stuff to be out of place.  When I’m working, I’m too busy to worry about the mess our house is in, but when I have nothing else better to do, it drives me insane.  And then I end up driving everyone in this house insane.  It never seems to end.

I can’t believe this weekend is Mother’s Day, and I don’t have anything planned, not good.  I guess, I big fat I LOVE YOU, will have to do this year.

I’m extremely tired, I haven’t been sleeping well due to my foot, so I’m hoping tonight I will get some good rest, I guess we shall see.

Cheers to it being Wednesday.  Two more days and the weekend will be here!

xoxo,

Shanna

a crazy month...

Friday morning my sweet baby boy woke-up to find I wasn’t here.  He is use to his mama still being home when he wakes in the morning.  We have a routine; I get him milk, cereal, and then turn on Thomas the Tank Engine before I walk out the door.  He is set in his ways, he doesn’t want anyone else getting him his milk, cereal or turning on Thomas the Tank Engine.  I guess it was around 8:30 Friday morning when I got a phone call at work…  I answer the phone to hear a sad little voice on the other end.  He was upset that I had left for work, without him getting to see me.  But the truly amazing part about him calling me was, he called me all by himself.  I can't believe my three year old, already knows how to use a cell phone to call his mama.  Sweet baby boy, mama will try to make sure she doesn’t leave again like that, without getting your milk, cereal and Thomas ready for you.

Life has had me turned upside down lately.  The month of April flew by, and was pretty much a blur.  And it appears May is going to be the same way.  Even though April was crazy busy for me, we did manage to have some fun…  We enjoyed coloring eggs for Easter, and getting to hunt them the next day.  Unfortunately we had to do it in the house, due to bad weather…  We got to enjoy family time on Easter with both sides of our family.  The following weekend, we got to see Thomas the Tank Engine, we didn’t only see him, we got to enjoy our first train ride as a family.  The little ones have enjoyed lots of outside time, riding bikes, jumping on the trampoline, coloring on the sidewalk, having water gun fights, and just being kids. 


***caution photo overload*** 



getting ready to color eggs for the first time, someone is excited...


my little pro, he has been wanting to color eggs since February...

i love her facial expression in this photo...

nothing like chasing bubbles...

and lots of bubbles at that...

finding the eggs that we colored...

sweet baby boy...

pure sweetness, so innocent...


i got this...


best buds...


girl after my own heart...  love me some basketball...


he loves to jump and have you sing songs...  so a lot of singing and clapping hands takes place in the trampoline.  but i wouldn't have it any other way!


i told you, i got this... watch and learn...


everyone cheered for Thomas, a really useful engine...


making new friend, along the way...


daddy and his baby girl...  nothing sweeter than seeing these two together and the bond they already have!


precious and Thomas approved!


me and my little man taking a break to enjoy a snow cone together...

while the cats away...

the mice shall play...

and play they did...

sweet little messes!

The stressful side of April…  Someone withdraw a pretty 
large sum of money from our account without our approval, and forged my signature on some paperwork, awesome I know.  That in itself has caused major stress in our house.   After several phone calls with the bank, the money was put back in our account.  Thank goodness, but now I have to file charges against this company.  Aside from that, my doctor wants to put a spinal cord stimulator in my back, to help control my pain.  This isn’t something I want to have done, but there isn't many options out there for RSD, and even if I do decide to do this, at best it will only take care of about 50% of my pain.  And to top it off, I know have tendonitis and a fracture in the same foot as the RSD.  Awesome, I just know my doctor is probably going to lecture me pretty hard on Monday, when I see him.  

I’m hoping May won't be quite as eventful as April. April lift me very exhausted...  And I wasn't alone... 




 I need a break, I need a vacation, I need to go somewhere
 far away.  I need to have my feet, in the sand with a drink in my hand.  Oh, how I miss those days.

Happy Sunday, looking forward to the cool front that
 is suppose to arrive on tomorrow.  We are already pretty much, full swing  into summer, a nice 92 yesterday.  Yeah, it gonna be a hot one this year.

xoxo,

Shanna