***this post is long, and I'm too tired to do a spell check along with grammar check... So I'm sure I have a few errors, but I'm not too worried about it:)
I’m in a funk, again… I feel like I’m always in a funk, but I'm having a hard time shaking this one. I’ve gained more weight than I care to admit, and I'm not able to shred the extra pounds, or at least not as fast as I'm wanting to... I’ve been watching what I eat, somewhat, but every time I try to cut something out of my diet, when I get on the scale it seems as if I have actually gained more weight. And everyone keeps giving me their two cents; I know how to lose weight. I know I need to work out, but for the ones that are giving the advice; they must not realize it's kinda hard to work out when you have two bummed feet. And I understand I need to watch what I eat, and that certain things, like my Dr. Pepper, need to become more limited than they are right now. I keep telling myself tomorrow… Tomorrow I will stop going by Sonic to get my large Dr. Pepper, and start limiting myself to one 12 ounce can, and so on… I have been telling myself this since the beginning of the year. And I have actually done it a handful times, but the first time I get stressed or upset, I’m right back at Sonic. But enough is truly enough. I’m miserable, and tired of feeling this way. It doesn’t help that every medicine I take, contributes to me gaining weight too. So, I’m making a pact, with my blog and whoever else reads that might want to join, to holding myself & yourself accountable. I’m always saying people need to hold themselves accountable, and stop with the excuses, and that is what I have been doing is making excuses when it comes to me not being able to lose the weight. This isn't going to become a diet blog, but I am going to start being honest and keeping a better track of what I’m consuming, and the gallons (per my husband) of Dr. Pepper that I drink a day. I have seriously got to do something, I have never in my life, and aside from being pregnant weighted this much. And it truly affects my mood, and the fact this past week all I have wanted to do is roll out of bed and go work (and I really haven't wanted to get out of bed at all, but I have too), I don’t have the desire to get dressed up, put make-up on, or fix my hair. I think last week, I took two showers that week, and didn't care. Now I was sick, and that might have played a small part, but I just had no desire to take a shower, brush my teeth, or brush my hair (I know how gross), etc... I seriously have looked like a bum all week, but even if I did want to get dressed, I’m not able to hardly button any of my pants, and I refuse to buy more clothes, when I don’t plan on staying at this size. I know I’m venting, but this has been weighing on my mind for the past few weeks, and every day I go to lunch and get nausea afterwards, because I know I shouldn’t have just ate whatever it is that I might have consumed, nor should have I gotten the dessert that I seem to get after each meal. I know, how bad!
So, do I have any takers that want to be held accountable with me? I won’t post each day, because I don’t have the time to blog every day, I’m full time working mother, that does have two kids to rise. But maybe I might set aside one day a week to recap what all I have consumed for the week, so that I can reflect back on my bad habits/choices of the week and get blue about it all (what fun). And maybe having it put where everyone can see it, will help change my ways. It doesn’t hurt to try. But, I will be up front, I will not be giving up my Dr. Pepper, I will just cut down on how much I consume of this product.
I think if I could seriously lose about 15-20lbs I would be a lot happier with things. My doctor is all the time telling me how I’m all over the place, one moment I'm super happy and the next I'm extremely moody and depressed. Maybe one day I will be on a straight and narrow path, where I’m not all over the please. But today, it is a pity for one kinda day.
So, let’s go ahead and start my recap of the week, of what I have had… After reading what I had to eat each day, you will see why I’m having the problems and that I am, since I eat as if I’m still pregnant.
Monday:
Sonic: Large Dr. Pepper
Breakfast: chick-fil-a chicken breakfast biscuits (they were so good)
Lunch: Subway I tried the philly steak sandwich (it was on the gross side, just sayin), with a Dr.Pepper
Afternoon: a cookie (and it was so yummy), with a Dr. Pepper
A Before Dinner Snack: ice cream cone
Dinner: Frito Pie, with a Dr. Pepper
Tuesday:
Breakfast: Toast with Strawberry jam, with a Dr. Pepper
Mid morning snack: Frito Pie, another Dr. Pepper
Lunch: Fred’s Philly Sandwiches 6” Philly Steak Sandwich, with fries and a Dr. Pepper *I also had a refill before we left.
Afternoon Snack: Sonic large Dr. Pepper along with an ice cream cone
Dinner: another Frito Pie, with a Dr. Pepper (the turkey chili is finally gone, no more Frito Pies)
Wednesday:
Sonic: Large Dr. Pepper
Breakfast: Nature Valley bar
Lunch: Corner Bakery, Potato Soup with a Dr. Pepper and several crackers
Afternoon Snack: Dr. Pepper and a Kit Kat
Dinner: Fried Rice and a Dr. Pepper
Thursday:
Sonic: Large Dr. Pepper
Breakfast: Blueberry muffins
Lunch: Panera Creamy Tomato Soup with a French baguette and you got it, a Dr. Pepper. I did really well at first and refused the cookie, but ended up getting a cookie before I left. But I will be honest; I only had two or three bites before I threw it away.
Dinner: McDonald's Cheese Burger, fries and yet another Dr. Pepper.
I guess looking at this, it explains it all. I know what needs to be cut out. I need to start with my sweets, and start limiting the Dr. Peppers and drinking more water. Then we will work on my meal portions. I just need to focus on one thing at a time, and not try to do it all at once.
Thanks for listening; I really do appreciate the company and the feedback. I know I’m not always able to comment back, since I do work 40-46 hours a week, and tend to two little ones when I’m at home, but just know your comments do put a smile on my face.
So now that I have embarrassed myself, letting everyone see how bad I do eat, let's get this party started. Just being honest here, I have had another Dr. Pepper and fritos while typing this post (I know, I'm so BAD). Hopefully within a week or two, I and you if you care to be a part of this journey will see some changes. I know both of my bum feet would like a little lighter load themselves to carry around!
Things have just been stressful, and as I stated earlier I’m in funk, and a pretty foul mood. I don’t like being in a foul mood, I like positive energy. The pain I have been in doesn’t help much either.
I will be calling it a night here before too much longer, so I don't start looking through the pantry for more food. I haven't been sleeping too great, with the pain, so lack of sleep doesn’t help in this equation either. I think I have started leaning towards food, as a way to comfort me, especially when I’m stressed.
Alright, I'm off of my soap box. I will probably post my weekly intakes on Friday. But wanted to kick it off tonight, since I'm ready to start this new phase and get back into my favorite jeans. I was also wanting to try a detox. Have any of you ever done a detox before? If so, I would love to know what you have used, and what you thought. Did it work, was it nasty, etc...
Goodnight sweet angels!
xoxo, Shanna
